Uncategorized – Page 2 – notesfromnokomis

National Geographic

The iconic yellow border. The spectacular photography. The ground-breaking research and writing. The stacks of magazines in homes and libraries. The spine that always tells you what is in the issue. Of course, I’m talking about National Geographic (the title was something of a give-away).

I have been a subscriber for decades and there is no reason to stop now. The topics covered are legion. For instance, the spine of the June 2020 issue reads: World War II Voices, Hiroshima Memories, Emperor Penguins, Women in Politics, Skateboarding. I’d call that a little something for everyone.

Trivia – what river has the largest inland fishery? (Definition not provided – I take it to mean, the river where the most fish are caught annually.)

In May, there was an article about an American couple, Doug and Kris Tompkins, who founded North Face and have been buying land in Argentina and Chile for the express purpose of donating it for parkland. The pictures showcase a wild land, devoid of humans. The prose describes a love of the desolate landscape and the animals who live there. And the efforts to reintroduce several species that have been extirpated: macaws, jaguars, tapirs, and rheas.

The article also includes a map. I love National Geographic maps. Every couple of issues, the magazines includes a standalone map, the most recent is Asia’s Vital Rivers. National Geographic also offers maps for sale. A friend and I had one in our office, the largest single map that I have ever encountered. It was awesome and, though we abandoned that office, the map remains, providing a big picture view of the world to the office’s current occupants.

Another recent article entitled Where Have All the Insects Gone? describes the disappearance of annoying but vital species. Scientists determined that, between 1994 and 2016, the insect biomass in the areas of Germany that were tested declined approximately 75%. As much as we hate mosquitos and other biting insects, they are an essential part of the food chain. Insects live as high as 18,000 feet above sea level in mountains and as much as 3,000 feet below ground in caves. Insects are vital to ecosystems, performing the following roles: they are food, they help decompose organic matter, they eat other pests, they pollinate, and they engineer the soil. And we don’t have to pay them or even thank them.

Some insects even live on your face. That’s comforting, I’m sure. A different article from May states that face mites were first discovered in 1841. They live everywhere on your body that has hair – so not on your palms or the bottoms of your feet. They are, as you might imagine, rather small: as many as 14 have been found in a single pore. Turns out, we still aren’t sure whether they are harmful or beneficial.

Sometimes an entire issue is dedicated to a single topic. The July issue is Everest, Journey to the Roof of the World. A different recent special issue has more broad-based appeal. One side (cover) was titled How We Saved the World, an optimist’s guide to life on Earth in 2070. The other side (can you have two front covers) was titled How We Lost the Planet, a pessimist’s guide to life on Earth in 2070.

The optimist’s view is premised on our willingness to take action – reduce or capture carbon emissions, plant trees (it might take a trillion), drive electric cars, increase reliance on renewable energy. It’s possible. Not easy, but possible. And there could be residual benefits.

The world has seen incredible gains in many areas since the first Earth Day in 1970. Correlation – causation. Who knows. But calories consumed, life expectancy, time spent in classrooms, access to clean water and electricity are all markedly better around the world than they were in 1970.

The cost of solar panels has fallen 99% since the 1970s; leading California to require them to be installed on new homes. Still, solar energy provides only 2% of U.S. electricity, another 7% comes from wind. There is plenty of room for improvement.

Trivia answer – largest inland fishery – Mekong River. Derivative trivia – name any of the six countries through which the Mekong flows.

Different trivia – how many gas stations are there in the US?

The pessimist’s view is premised on an unwillingness or inability to effect change. It’s possible that the die has been cast, that our efforts are already too late. Ice in Greenland, the Andes, and the Third Pole (the many glaciers of Asia in the Himalayas and other mountain ranges) has already shrunk considerably. This will raise the ocean level and release less water to the billions of Asians who rely on it, primarily for irrigation. Chaotic weather could continue with more and worse wildfires and hurricanes. More land could become arid, decreasing food production. Cities (Venice, Dhaka, Miami) could sink under water, countries (the Netherlands, Bangladesh) could lose much land. Temperatures in already hot areas could soar. More flooding could result in less water, as dry places become drier and wet places become wetter. Obviously, this is truncated, but it’s all from one issue of National Geographic. There is so much that can be gleaned from every issue.

One hundred fifty thousand gas stations in the US. And about 4,500 electric charging stations.

I couldn’t remember the six countries of the Mekong watershed or find the answer in the magazine. A web search provided the answer easily from: of course, National Geographic. “Originating in the icy headwaters of the Tibetan highlands, the Mekong River flows through the steep canyons of China, known as the upper basin, through lower basin countries Myanmar, Laos, Thailand, and Cambodia, before fanning across an expansive delta in Vietnam and emptying into the South China Sea.”[1]

National Geographic is a true non-profit and a subscription costs just 19 tax-deductible dollars. Even if you only look at the pictures, the magazine is a great value. Now it you’ll excuse me, I have a couple of back issues that need reading.

[1] https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2020/01/southeast-asia-most-critical-river-enters-uncharted-waters/#:~:text=Originating%20in%20the%20icy%20headwaters,into%20the%20South%20China%20Sea.

Bastille Day

Today is Bastille Day. Think for a moment about what that means to you. Does it have any personal significance? Is it a mere historical event? Does it show up on your calendar? Have you ever heard of it?

Some consider it the spark that ignited the French Revolution. If so, it lit a slow-burning, mile-long fuse. None of the stuff often associated with the French Revolution (death, destruction, famine) happened for at least two years, until the largely conservative National Assembly had been replaced by the more radical Legislative Assembly.[1]

The centuries-old Bastille was a fortress that had long been associated with royal repression and used to hold political prisoners. By the time of its storming, it was a shadow of its former self and had already been scheduled for demolition.

The short story of the “storming of the Bastille” is that a Parisian mob needed ammunition for the muskets they had taken earlier from the Hotel des Invalides (then a retirement/convalescent home for veterans, now a museum). The commander of the Bastille, hoping to avoid violence, was negotiating the turnover of the fortress. But the discussion dragged on and mobs are not known for their patience. This mob moved into an outer courtyard of the fortress and, as is wont to happen, shots were fired. Then mayhem – close to 100 attackers and one defender died. Such is the nature of soldiers fighting (mostly) unarmed civilians. A total of seven prisoners were released, none of any note, although the Marquis de Sade[2] had been released ten days earlier.

So the Bastille was stormed and nothing really changed. It was quite exciting for the gathered mob, but the National Constituent Assembly meeting several miles away in Versailles and the king, who lived there, were blissfully unaware. When told about the event the next day, the king asked if it was a revolt. The famous reply from the Duke of La Rochefoucauld: “No, sire, it’s not a revolt; it’s a revolution.”

On the first anniversary of the storming, July 14, 1790, the initial Fete de la Federation was held to celebrate the unity of the French nation and to symbolize peace. The symbolism was lost on the 17,000 or so people who were guillotined over the next few years, not to mention the 250,000 who lost their lives in the subsequent civil war.

The Fete de la Federation was a huge celebration and the feasting lasted for four days. Among the attendees were Americans John Paul Jones and Thomas Paine, who carried the United States flag, likely the first time is was flown outside of US territory. Ultimately the Fete de la Federation became a national holiday (1880) and is now known as Bastille Day to non-French people. The French call it la Fete Nationale (the National Holiday).

If you ever want to torture yourself, read The French Revolution by Thomas Carlyle. I received it as a gift from my son when he was young enough to care about whether I read the books he gave me, so I read it. It was excruciating. But like any dutiful father, I persevered (at great cost to my short-term sanity). Would that Carlyle had never reconstructed it.[3]

For a couple of years after I read it, I would occasionally challenge friends to open the book to any random page, read the shortest paragraph, and tell me whether they understood it. Nobody did.[4] I had to get rid of the book — seeing it on the shelf engendered a foul mood as I remembered the distressing experience of reading it. (I have since begrudgingly forgiven my son.)

I mentioned the Estates General earlier. When the members initially arrived in Paris, they tended to congregate with people from their home province or city. After the storming, the members decided to stop meeting at Versailles (then the home of Louis XVI and his administration, now a museum) and relocated to Paris. The first day at the new venue, the members, who now knew each other better, gathered with like-minded people. The more conservative members gathered on the right side of the room. The more liberal members gathered on the left side of the room. And that is the quotidian origin of the left/right convention that is used around the world as shorthand for liberal and conservative political parties and ideas.

Bastille Day remains a day of celebration in France and in several other countries.[5] The nearest analogue in our country is the Fourth of July. The French celebrate with fireworks and parades, including one that involves the French army marching down the Champs-Elysees, which is considered the largest and oldest military parade in Europe.

Happy Bastille Day!

[1] The French monarch, Louis XVI, was in desperate financial straits, caused in part by the loans he floated to help finance the American Revolution. He convened the Estates General, which had not met in well over a century, hoping to shore up royal finances. That body morphed into the National Assembly, then the National Constituent Assembly, which was replaced in toto by the Legislative Assembly. In the cleanest of breaks, people who had served in the earlier assemblies were ineligible for the Legislative Assembly.

[2] The Marquis lives on every time you use or hear the word “sadism.”

[3] John Stuart Mill accidently burned the first and only copy that Carlyle produced. Carlyle completely rewrote it. Having read the second version, I can well imagine that the first was more readable. It had to be. An alternate theory of my own imagination is that Mill burned it on purpose because he realized just how unreadable it was.

[4] Try for yourself, I dare you. And remember, these are the best quotes, not random ones. https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/2101407-the-french-revolution-a-history

[5] https://www.worldfirst.com/uk/blog/economic-updates/daily-update/7-places-outside-france-bastille-day-celebrated/

A Few Unnecessary Details (unless you are me)

1. I type in Times New Roman, font 14 because that is what the Supreme Court of Ohio uses. If it’s good enough for my employer of the past 20 or so years, it’s good enough for me.

2. The last post (“Pandemic Reading List”) was post 100. I should have created fanfare upfront, instead of mentioning it after the fact. I am not a born marketer, nor a learned or learned one either.

3. One hundred posts you say, how can I find the one I’m looking for? (Thank you for asking.) I just added an index, which has all 100 posts by title in chronological order. You can also search by broad category on the home page.

4. The picture on the home page is of friends hiking with me last September in Acadia National Park in Maine. Five couples went and there were no arguments — except about my hike selections and descriptions. For instance, the hike pictured is four miles long, starts at 100 feet above sea level and ends at 1,500 feet above sea level. I said the hike was “straight up,” meaning, colloquially, that it’s a continuous uphill climb. I didn’t think anyone would take me literally and think that we would essentially be climbing a ladder. But someone did. Not surprisingly, it was more gradual than that.

5. I wrote five short posts in 2015. I was testing the system and my desire to write. I took eight months off, testing my inertia (and passing I might add), then (in an unprecedented burst of energy) wrote 36 posts in the last six months of 2016, an average of six per month. Never again. In 2017, I published 38 posts, a seemingly tolerable three per month. Alas, the toll of trying to get a business off the ground sidelined me in 2018, when I fell to just 12 posts. And the negative momentum increased in 2019, with only six posts. I’m on that same approximate (slow) pace this year.

6. I read a fair amount and often chide myself about not remembering as much as I should. Then as I typed the titles of the posts for the index, I realized that I had no idea what some of them are about. How is that even possible?

7. Thank you for the comments you send, both public (on the blog) and private (email, text, face to face). You are encouraging, complimentary, and many times complementary (with additional details and stories). I also appreciate criticism and correction; I didn’t use to but like to think I have matured a bit over the years. (Ask Phillip sometime about the joys of having a discussion with a 25-year old me. Spoiler alert: not pleasant.)

8. Several posts generated zero public comments. “Are you well-read?” generated the most: 13. The most views on a day was 136 on September 9, 2016, which coincided with the publication of “Freedom of Speech.”

9. I’m not sure how people who don’t receive an email from me find the blog. Well – it turns out that not many do. But through the years, people have read the blog from some exotic places. For instance, this year, with only three posts, the blog has been viewed by people in China, New Zealand (college roommate), France, Australia (nephew), Finland, Dominican Republic (another college roommate on vacation), Netherlands, Spain, Germany, Belarus, and Pakistan. Last year, people from 23 countries read a post, including someone in Gabon.

10. Blogging for some people is a living. For me it is a hobby, which is good because my earnings so far would fit on a single coronavirus with room to spare.

11. One hundred posts at an average of 1000 words a post – wait, let me do the math – that’s 100,000 words, the approximate equivalent (in length) of a whole To Kill a Mockingbird (100,388) or half a Moby Dick (206,052).

12. I’m reading a book called Brief Lives by John Aubrey, who died in 1697. It’s a series of biographical sketches, including luminaries such as Thomas Hobbes and John Milton. Most of the lives are obscure and most of the sketches are indeed brief, and to be honest, rather dull.

The following vignette about Richard Corbet, the Bishop of Norwich, is not dull: “One time when they went in procession about the cathedral church, he would not do it the usual way in his surplice, hood, etc. on foot, but rode on a mare, thus habited, with the Common Prayer book in his hand reading. A stone-horse [stallion] happened to break loose, and smelled the mare, and ran and leapt her, and held the reverend dean all the time so hard in his embraces, that he could not get off till the horse had done his business. But he would never ride in the procession afterwards.”

The “but” is a strange usage; it may be archaic, like “stone-horse” in the same passage. Having witnessed a breeding session at a horse farm, I can quite understand why the good bishop was reluctant to get back on the horse.

As always, thank you for reading.

Podcasts

I am not typically an early adapter of technology. I purchased my first personal computer, HD TV, and smart phone at least five years after they had hit the mainstream. And I was usually complaining about the price and unnecessity of the item right up until the moment I started using it. At which point: Eureka!

So it is with podcasts. What took me so long? These things are awesome. They come is so many flavors and sizes, there is something for everyone.

First, what is a podcast? According to Wikipedia, “a podcast is an episodic series of digital audio or video files that a user can download in order to listen.” [1] A podcast does not involve a person reading a book or a series of lectures, which have their own charms, it’s much better. The podcaster might be reading, but it’s something that was written specifically to be presented in a podcast, something intended to be listened to. Some podcasts allow modest interaction, not during the podcast of course, which is recorded, but after, often in the form of questions or a supplementary website.

I came by podcasts slowly, fending off many recommendations from friends because – why do I need podcasts. After reading Lost to the West, by Lars Brownworth (which I recommend), I discovered that he had produced a podcast called 12 Byzantine Rulers. Turns out, he wrote the book after attaining some acclaim from the podcast, which is a bit sensationalist for my amateur historian sensibilities. Brownworth tends to highlight the most salacious or vicious stories and rumors from antiquity. His style is entertaining, but it left me wanting more.[2]

My search led me to The History of Byzantium; I was captivated.[3] The podcast is not for the faint of heart; I’m up to episode 195 (which covered roughly 550 years, starting in 500 A.D. or so) and there are still 400 years to go. The podcaster, Robin Pierson, is outstanding: great voice, sense of humor, terrific research and writing skills. He also provides a complementary (as well as complimentary) website and Facebook page with maps and pictures.[4] I have read many books about the Roman Empire, but I had done nothing systematic. Pierson is systematic and it has helped me better understand the scope and nuance of the empire.

He recaps the centuries. He highlights social features (marriage, education, etc.) with special episodes. He surveys the provinces and provides much general information about empire-wide practices and changes. And, of course, he provides the nuts-and-bolts of the historical narrative — battles, wars, assassinations, and plagues, both mighty and petty. The podcast is a tour de force. I cannot recommend it more highly. I am so glad I have many episodes left.

Because I was late to the party, I didn’t realize that Pierson was reprising Michael Duncan, whose The History of Rome podcast might be the seminal history podcast. He starts at the beginning with Romulus and Remus being raised by wolves, continues through the fall of the republic and the rise of the empire, and concludes with the fall of the west. I’m on episode 161, the Vandals and Goths and Huns (oh my) are ready to assert themselves. The podcast ends on episode 179, so I’ll be able to wander back over to the History of Byzantium and finish off the entire 2,100-year history of the Roman polity.

Pierson and Duncan both turned their podcasts into careers. Duncan has subsequently published books. Both have led Roman history-oriented tours. Both have embraced their topic, which was not a significant part of their former professional lives.[5] The lesson for all of us – pursue your passion, pick a subject you love and champion it, perhaps you’ll create a new career for yourself.

In the meantime, I’m going to need a new podcast at some point. I’m open to suggestion.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Podcast Should it be “listen to”? Shouldn’t it be “listen to”? Well, should it or shouldn’t it? I enjoy when seeming opposites are actually the same – consider: flammable and inflammable, thaw and unthaw, loosen and unloosen.

[2] Brownworth is not a historian.

[3] I have always been fascinated by Rome. Through the years, I have been increasingly interested in the lesser known latter part of the empire, which is usually referred to as the Byzantine Empire, even though it shouldn’t be.

[4] https://thehistoryofbyzantium.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=history%20of%20byzantium%20podcast&epa=SEARCH_BOX

[5] Duncan was a fishmonger and Pierson a TV producer before turning to researching and delivering podcasts.

Empty Planet

In the fall of 1980, I took a class entitled “Human Population and Natural Resources.” It satisfied a science requirement, without forcing me to engage in either the scientific method or lab work – important for this fledgling English major. It also got me thinking, in a way I never had, about the carrying capacity of our planet.

We have been taught that the Earth has finite resources, that we can only produce so much food.[1] And at some level, it’s probably true, although the world’s population has been growing as if it isn’t — from 1 billion people in 1800, to 2 billion (1927), to 4 billion (1974), to over 7 billion today. The United Nations projects a population of 10-11 billion by 2100. That’s a lot of people, who will all need food and water every single day, along with other necessities and a few luxuries.

Not to worry (about that) say Darrell Bricker and John Ibbitson, the authors of Empty Planet,[2] because we are facing an even worse problem than too few resources: too few people. They attribute this primarily to urbanization and educated women. The world is now over 50% urban, which leads to fewer births because children are no longer treated as farm assets. When women become educated, they have more options, exercise autonomy, and inevitably have fewer children.

One of my favorite (small) takeaways from this book is a definition for extreme poverty. A person lives in extreme poverty when it is a daily challenge to feed his or her family. I doubt anyone reading this post has ever lived in extreme poverty, but in 1800, 85% of the world did. Today only 14% of the world does. “Only,” in this case, means about a billion people.

The main thesis of the book is that the birth rate across the planet is plummeting, it is already below replacement level (2.1 live births per woman) in most countries. Italy’s birth rate is 1.4, which resulted in fewer babies being born in 2015 (population 60 million) than in any year since 1861 (when the population was 25 million). In the US, the birth rate is 1.7, which led to fewer babies being born in 2017 (population 325 million) than in 1953 (when the population was 160 million). Most other countries have seen birth rates dip below replacement level, including Brazil (1.8), China (1.6), and Thailand (1.5). South America and the Caribbean are at 2.1, but dropping, down from 5.9 in 1960. Africa is the only continent whose birth rate remains above replacement level, but even there, the birth rate is falling.

Current projections indicate that Bulgaria will decline from 9 million people today to 5 million in 2050. South Korea’s population could drop by a third over the next 50 years, its birth rate is already below 1.0.[3] You might be thinking – this is great, fewer people will reduce the demand for resources. But think again, who is going to buy your house or the product or service you sell.

Fewer people means fewer consumers, which means less (or worse, no) economic growth. Japan has been grappling with this problem for decades – without success. It now has the highest debt level in the world (250% of GDP) and is the oldest nation, with 64 people of non-working age (retirees and kids) for every 100 of working age. That is not sustainable. For comparison purposes, the US is pretty high too, 52; China is 39.

The authors provide an easy solution to the problem of low birth rates and the subsequent declining population.[4] It’s rather obvious and it is one that has benefitted the US throughout its history, even when we had a high birth rate. Unfortunately, the obvious answer is not currently politically palatable. The answer, as most of you probably already guessed, is immigration.

One nation has embraced this solution. As Europe, Japan, and other countries deal with the consequences of a declining population, Canada has committed to welcoming immigrants—though not without limits. Canada has determined that it can assimilate immigrants at 1% (of its population) per year.[5] This is good for immigrants, who are seeking better opportunities, and Canada, which would otherwise have a declining population.

The authors paint a compelling narrative centered around immigration. Countries must either embrace it or lose population, which will lead to lower economic growth, productive capacity, etc. For those who imagine a future where birth rates trend hight, don’t get your hopes up. In Sweden, where women are allowed up to 480 days of paid leave (at 80% of income) when they have a child, the birth rate has ticked up, but remains below replacement level. And, of course, that policy is rather expensive.

We must either allow immigration[6] or we will inevitably suffer a population decline and concomitant economic decline. Professor Austan Goolsbee estimates that immigration at 200,000 per year (last year’s level) instead of a more usual 1,000,000 per year will result in GDP being $1 trillion lower over the course of a decade.[7]

There might be a plus side for those of you worried about climate change, the authors believe that a declining population is one of the surest ways to address it. I recommend Empty Planet, reading it might change the way you think about the present and the future.

[1] Proto-economist Thomas Malthus posited that human population increases geometrically and that food production increases arithmetically leading inexorably to an inability to feed all the people. This prediction caused Thomas Carlyle to dub economics the “dismal science.”

[2] Most of the factual references in this post come from this book.

[3] https://www.yahoo.com/news/forget-north-korea-south-koreas-160000907.html

[4] This solution will not work for the world, only for certain countries.

[5] According to the authors, the less nationalist a country, the more easily it can absorb immigrants.

[6] Neither the authors nor I advocate uncontrolled or illegal immigration.

[7] New York Times, October 13, 2019. The professor also noted that immigrants (or their children) started almost half of the current Fortune 500 companies.

Bucket Lists

At the local library recently, I saw a chalk board, which said: Before I die, I want to _____. The venerable Bucket List has been co-opted by our library into a talking point. The Bucket List is a tried, tested, and true concept in our culture.

1000 Places To See Before You Die, by Patricia Shultz, available on Amazon for small dollars, but hard to pull off without big ones;

100 Things To Do Before High School, a TV series that I have never heard of and a bit passe[1] for anybody reading this blog;

30 Things to Do Before You Turn 30 (https://gentwenty.com/bucket-list-30-things-to-do-before-you-turn-30/), I did about 10 and it’s too late to do more;

40 Best Books to Read Before You Die (https://www.listchallenges.com/independents-40-best-books-to-read-before-you-die), I’ve read 26 and the others seem pretty good. This list is certainly easier to deal with than

400 Books to Read Before You Die (https://www.listchallenges.com/400-books-to-read-before-you-die), I’ve read 171.

I could go on, the list of things-to-do lists is practically endless. People love telling other people what they should do. Some people make their own lists. The year my friend Philip turned 50, he decided to do 50 things that he had never done before. I pretty sure he met his goal; he can be quite maniacal.

Even people without a Bucket List have Bucket List items. It is beyond a cliché[2] at this point. Do any of you have a literal list – written down or typed? Or is it just in your head?

I have three literal lists: American Film Institute’s 100 Greatest American Movies of All Time (I’ve seen 81), a list of the 100 greatest novels of all time (I’ve read 35), and a list of the 100 greatest non-fiction books (I’ve read 22 and most of the rest do not interest me). The lists of books were from reputable sources at the time, but I didn’t make a note of them. Even though it seems that I don’t care anymore (because I haven’t checked anything off these three lists in over two years), I still have the actual paper lists. I might still care.

For many people, the Bucket List is primarily about travel: Iceland, Antarctica, Mount this or that, some island somewhere warm, a museum, a wall,[3] a game of some sort (the Olympics, World Cup, etc.) There are many great things and events waiting for all of us to visit and enjoy. My Bucket List is different.

I had two “conversations” (by text) recently with two different friends about my Bucket List with markedly different results. John sent a group text to a few friends, something along the lines of “hey, let’s get together, how about a trip to Vegas.” I replied “It’s on my Bucket List” and he responded “I know what that means” because he does. Laura was in Laos on business and sent me a text about getting together when she returned.[4] I typed “Laos is on my Bucket List,” and she replied “Oh my gosh . . . take it OFF” because she didn’t know what I meant.

You see, my Bucket List consists entirely of things I don’t want to do. My Bucket List is opposite world. Africa is on many Bucket Lists, including mine. I actively plan to never go there. I realize that makes me seem a bit small-minded. I don’t care. I don’t like being uncomfortable and every time I think about Africa, I think about how hot it is, how warm the water is, who little safe water there is, how many bugs and snakes and etc. there are, how may nonfunctioning governments there are, how many people with nothing to lose there are, and I remember that in America, there is air conditioning, safe cold water, and plenty of awesome things to see and do. I have no intention of ever going to Africa.

I know that I am missing many awesome things: Victoria Falls, the Pyramids, Cape Town, mega-fauna (lions, rhinos, and hippos, oh my), mega-deserts, and much more, including many fascinating cultures and foods. I don’t care; to me, it is not worth the discomfort and fear that I would endure. Watching lions hunt buffalo on NatGeo is not the same as seeing it live and in person. Then again, very few tourists actually see lions hunt buffalo live and in person.

Many completely normal things are on my Bucket List — mowing the lawn, attending the ballet, growing a beard, drinking bourbon, wearing a tank top, body art, piercings. The Bucket List I’m talking about now is not a literal list – it’s a virtual list, but one that I enjoy putting together. And it is essentially infinite, there are many things that I do not want to do.

Don’t get me wrong – there are also plenty of things that I want to do. I just don’t put those things on a list. I can’t think of anything that is so important to me, that not doing it will cause me to be disappointed. I’ve already accomplished the most important things in life: good education, great wife, wonderful kids.[5]

Maybe I will go to Istanbul and see the Theodosian land walls, maybe I’ll attend a Duke/UNC basketball game, maybe I’ll sit down and drink a beer with my friend Charlie Poole. But it won’t be because it’s on a list—though that last item really should be.

[1] No automatic accent.

[2] Word added this accent automatically. Is that a good thing?

[3] There are lots of walls in the world. They tend to do better as attractions than as obstacles – Wailing Wall, Great Wall of China, Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall – though the walls of Constantinople served their makers well for hundreds of years.

[4] Laura is currently in New Zealand. She travels a lot. New Zealand is not on my Bucket List.

[5] I want to mention two other “accomplishments” of note, that were not important: a hole-in-one at Pinehurst and attending the Red Sox win that clinched the 2004 World Series.

Good Samaritans

I went to a football game recently with three friends. One of them is the father of the other two. I’m going to be intentionally obscure on some details to protect their privacy, but I want to tell this short story because, well, I think you’ll understand by the time I am done.

We drove to a venerable football stadium to attend a college football game between two power conference teams. It was a beautiful day for football, if a bit warm, hot even.

As we approached the stadium, which we had never been to, we asked for help finding the best place to drop off a 70ish year old man with some mobility issues. The various gatekeepers were respectful and, more importantly, helpful. Kudos.

After dropping them off, I went in search of a parking space and found one (at a mere $40) within a twenty-minute walk of the stadium. All things considered, not too bad.

By the time I rejoined my friends, the father was in a first aid station at the stadium. Leaving my car and walking in the heat and humidity had exacted a quick and heavy toll. A few minutes sitting in the air-conditioned first aid station while drinking cold water refreshed him.

We entered the stadium and watched most of the first half without further incident. Sometime in the middle of the second quarter, we started walking toward the concessions and bathrooms. We had taken only a few steps, when the father of my friends became very weak and couldn’t continue. His son held him up. When I noticed what was happening, I returned to assist. We asked the usher to call for a medic, which he did.

A woman walked by, and said “my husband is a doctor, should I get him.” Yes. A step in the right direction.

The son and I continued to hold the father upright, hoping the medic would show up quickly. A man walking by noticed our situation and said “I’m going to get on my hands and knees. He can sit on my back.” He dropped to the floor and we settled the father on his back.

After just a few seconds, a doctor showed up (the woman’s husband) and asked us to place the father flat on his back with his head pointing down (we were on a ramp). By now another doctor had stopped to help, followed by a third. The man, who had hitherto been on his hands and knees, returned with a cup of water. He was my favorite of the good Samaritans.

The doctors were terrific. They spoke calmly and authoritatively, reassuring the father that they would stay with him as long as necessary. One was constantly monitoring the father’s pulse, which remained strong and steady throughout.

The father had not lost consciousness and had not suffered a stroke, heart attack, or anything else with a specific name, he had simply become extremely fatigued extremely quickly. Eventually the medic showed up, he was in high demand as the heat intensified, and the father was put on a stretcher and taken back to the first aid station, which was full. (Somewhere along the line, a fourth doctor, a cardiologist, had stopped to help, though we were already in good hands.)

At the first aid station, the father rested in a bed, receiving hydration and some much-needed air conditioning. He remained conscious and aware of his surroundings throughout the incident and was able to converse while watching the game on TV. He acted and sounded like himself, just weaker than normal. Ultimately, he was transferred by ambulance to a local hospital, where he was admitted and spent the night. He is now home, still weak, but otherwise little the worse for wear.

The “crisis” did not last long, but the number of people who helped in small and large ways was impressive. It was a wonderful reminder of the kindness of strangers. It heartens me to realize that Americans are willing to help others in distress, whether in small events like ours or large events like Hurricane Florence.

We are a great country, always have been, always will be.

A To-do List

The last post generated more commentary than most, so I decided to go with another list. Most of the comments were private: emails, text messages, etc., not public on the blog – no matter. I like them all. Keep the cards and letters coming.

This list (from Men’s Health) comprises things that a person should have done by the time they turn 50, according to a poll of 2,000 fifty-something citizens of the UK. The bottom line for me is that the list itself is 248 words long, meaning I only need another 750 or so to get near my target of 1000 words.

Buy a house. 1/1
Have kids. 2/2
Get married. 3/3
Fall in love. Shouldn’t this come before no. 3? 4/4
Eat fish and chips on the pier. I’ve eaten all kinds of things on piers. 5/5
Donate blood. Gallons. 6/6
Read 100 books. 7/7
See your favorite band live. All three – Talking Heads, REM, and Peter Gabriel. 8/8
Learn a language. I can read French as well as most 6-year old Parisians. I’m counting it. 9/9
Attend a music festival. I’ve never been to anything approximating Woodstock or Bonnaroo, but to many smaller events. 10/10
Own a dog. Many times, including now. 11/11
Learn to say no to your mother. She’s still not happy about it. 12/12
Stay out all night partying. I hope to never do this again. 13/13
See the Northern Lights. I don’t feel like I missed much. 13/14
Visit Stonehenge. Second miss, this one hurts a little. Given that the poll was UK based, the largest ancient monument in your country can probably be substituted. Not sure what that would be in the US. 13/15
Remember where the gas cap is. 14/16
Travel somewhere alone. Yes, but not lately. 15/17
Sleep underneath the stars. Great way to watch a meteor shower in Maine. The bugs were not friendly. 16/18
Watch a meteor shower. See above. 17/19
Dance in the rain. Naked even — I was quite young. 18/20
Become an expert at something. Hmmn, I probably qualify, more likely for baseball than the law. 19/21
Quit a job. Does involuntarily count? Either way, I’ve done it. 20/22
See a volcano. Does it have to be active? Either way, it’s a fail. 20/23
Visit all seven continents. Not even close. I know one person who has been to Antarctica. 20/24
Throw a coin in the Trevi fountain. I think any trip to Rome satisfies this item. Haven’t done that. 20/25
Take a helicopter ride. Not in the future either, unless I’m being rescued or medevaced. 20/26
Have sex on a beach. Pass. This is a G-rated blog.
Swim with dolphins. Not yet, not ever. 20/27
Go skinny dipping. Yes, no details — see no. 27. 21/28
Ride a gondola in Venice. I still hold it against the Doge that he led a successful attack on Constantinople in 1204. That’s not what kept me away from Venice. 21/29
Make a snow angel. Many times — in multiple states. 22/30
Take part in a protest. I have engaged in many one-man protests, primarily against restaurants and retail establishments, but no actual political protest. 22/31
Own your own business. The Pub Out Back, established in 2012, sold in 2016. 23/32
Go in a hot air balloon. See helicopter, no. 26. 23/33
Ride an elephant. I make it a practice to avoid all animals that can kill me without even realizing it. 23/34
Climb Snowdonia. I certainly haven’t climbed Snowdonia, which is in Wales. I’m going to substitute any substantial local ascent. I’ve been to the highest point in a least three states. The scariest was the drive up Mount Washington. The lanes on the road are so narrow, I recommend taking a small car. 24/35
Jump into a pool fully clothed. “Jump” suggests intentionality, so getting thrown in doesn’t count, but lakes and ponds do. 25/36
Backpack across Europe. This is an epic fail. 25/37.
Perfect a signature dish. Mine is only suitable for company at breakfast. 26/38
Drink beer at Oktoberfest. Been to many Oktoberfests in the US. Any fall Saturday when the Buckeyes are playing a home game is a comparable experience, though probably better. 26/39
Run a marathon. The longest run of my life was something over 10 miles. 26/40
Get a tattoo. I’m sure there is a price at which I would agree to get a tattoo. I just don’t know anyone stupid enough to offer what it would take. 26/41
Ride a Vespa. This is too specific. I’m counting any two-wheeled motorized vehicle driven on a road. A moped in Bermuda counts. 27/42
Watch comedy at Edinburgh Fringe. I’ll accept any comedy festival, not that I’ve been to any. 27/43
Write a novel. I’ve often said I wanted to write a novel. 27/44
Write a journal. I did this for years. It provides deep insight into the trivia that can occur to the mind of a person hell bent on writing something just for the sake of writing something. 28/45
Spend a month technology free. Many times, all before I was 35. 29/46
Try drugs. Not even pot. No regrets. 29/47
Have a threesome. Pass – G-rated blog.
Go to an airport and pick a random flight. This just sounds stupid. I can’t imagine anyone doing this, even my friends who have millions of frequent flyer miles. 29/48

I’ve always liked lists – longest rivers, home run leaders, most populous cities, deadliest snakes, etc. This one is pretty good. One obvious omission (to me) is attend a live sporting event featuring your favorite team.

I look forward to hearing about your success rate. I figure my 60% will be on the low side.

p.s. Microsoft Word indicated that this post had 999 words. WordPress (blogging software) indicates that this post is 883 words. Although this “p.s.” has pushed it over 900. The discrepancy is usually under ten words.

2017 Reading List

Today is the last day of 2017. I’m going to reprise a small chunk of it: my reading list. I read the 40 books listed below,[1] bringing my long-term average to 35.4 books per year. Not bad, though to be fair some of them were not that strenuous. One book this year was a graphic novel – a Ray Bradbury authorized version of Fahreneit 451 – all the flavor of the original with some really cool drawings. There were a couple[2] of volumes of poetry (Aronson, Bennett, Ossman), a few spy novels (Furst), some light fiction (Crighton, Marquez, Turow), and even an old favorite from my youth (George).

A Most Improbable Journey, a big history of our planet and ourselves	Alvarez
Ghost Child of the Atalanta Bloom	Aronson
The Sobbing School	Bennett
A Sovereign People	Berkin
Utopia for Realists	Bregman
Nomadland: Surviving America in the Twenty-first Century	Bruder
In Cold Blood	Capote
Airframe	Crighton
Younger Next Year — The Exercise Program	Crowley/Lodge
The Death and Life of the Great Lakes	Egan
The Experts’ Guide to 100 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do	Ettus
Ghost Empire	Fidler
The Strategy of Victory	Fleming
Dark Voyage	Furst
Blood of Victory	Furst
The Polish Officer	Furst
The Foreign Correspondent	Furst
My Side of the Mountain	George
The Teammates	Halberstam
Fahrenheit 451	Hamilton (Bradbury)
The Universe in a Nutshell	Hawking
Bill James Handbook 2017	James
Urban Survival Guide	Johnson
Moment of Battle — the twenty clashes that changed the world	Lacey/Murray
No One Writes to the Colonel	Marquez
Unlock the Hidden Job Market	Mathison/Finney
The American Spirit	McCullough
Make Your Bed — little things that can change your life	McRaven
Event Boundaries	Ossmann
Where the Water Goes — Life and death along the Colorado River	Owen
Hello, Is This Planet Earth (my view from the international space station)	Peake
Dream Land — the true tale of america’s opiate epidemic	Quinones
The Wayfarer’s Handbook — a field guide for the independent traveler	Rice
Glaxo	Ronsino
Bottom of the Ninth — Branch Rickey, Casey Stengel (Continental)	Shapiro
Survive — essential skills and tactics to get you out of anywhere — alive	Stroud
American Revolutions	Taylor
Pleading Guilty	Turow
Innocent	Turow
Medieval Europe	Wickham

But I also pushed myself a bit. I tackled a smorgasbord of nonfiction issues. A couple of books on water (Egan, Owen) highlight an increasingly important and potentially divisive issue. Baseball always gets some of my time (Halberstam, James, Shapiro). James gets extra (un-listworthy) time from me because I subscribe to his outstanding website: billjamesonline.com. As in most years, history wins the plurality – I am devoted to learning from the past; it’s easier than doing something in the present.

The Strategy of Victory by Fleming tells the tale of George Washington’s approach to warfare during the revolutionary war. It cogently explains Washington’s belief that the most important thing wasn’t to win, it was not to lose. And it trenchantly conveys that the war was a civil war, which I don’t think most Americans appreciate. In any event, they don’t understand the day-to-day consequences of not knowing whether your neighbor is your friend or your active enemy.

If you haven’t read In Cold Blood by Capote, you really should. It is among the very best of non-fiction writing, telling a classic (true) tale of senseless murder.

I highly recommend two books that capture current sad realities (Bruder and Quinones). The former tracks a group of retirees, who make the most of limited means by living in RVs. The latter describes how heroin is destroying lives and communities. The writing in both books is as good as the issues are timely. Reading them will help you better understand the on-going trials and tribulations of millions of Americans.

One book I cannot recommend is The Universe in a Nutshell by Stephen Hawking, even though he is a terrific “writer.”[3] The book is interesting, informative, and showcases Hawking’s brilliance. But it contains some pretty heavy science and math that significantly hampered my ability to understand, let alone enjoy, the ideas he put forth.

The next post will focus on one of the books that I have not mentioned yet.

Happy New Year.

[1] The books are listing in alphabetical order by author, just like the books on my bookshelves.

[2] You cannot convince me that “couple” refers only to two of something. For example, if you ask for a couple of M&Ms, you would likely be mightily disappointed if I handed you exactly two green ones.

[3] I put “writer” in quotes because (obviously) Hawking cannot write. Then again, few of us with the physical ability to do so write. Every word I have posted on this website has been the product of typing. Perhaps we should rid ourselves of words like “writer.”

Everyday Skills

I recently read a book that was written by 100 different experts and published in 2004. It’s titled The Experts’ Guide to 100 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do and it was created by Samantha Ettus. The cover of the book actually says “created by” Samantha Ettus. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen that before.

The book is separated into five sections: Morning Life, Work Life, Home Life, Weekend Life, and the Big Life. A different expert writes about each skill. The luminaries include Donald Trump on negotiating, Tucker Carlson on tying a bow tie, Suze Orman on saving money, Stephen Covey on managing your time, and Bobby Flay on barbequing, among many others.

The things associated with Morning Life that we should all know how to do are:

Sleep

Make a bed

Do push-up and sit-ups

Jog

Eat right

Make eggs

Brew coffee

Read a newspaper

Wash hair

Care for skin

Shave

Wash hands

Shine shoes

Tie a bow tie

Tie a Windsor knot

Tie a scarf

Drive a stick shift

I’m not sure what the last one has to do with morning life, but whatever. Of these 17 skills, I am proficient at 11, knowledgeable about two (jogging and eating right), and deficient at four. I don’t brew coffee, or drink it for that matter; I use an electric razor; and I have never tied a bow tie or a scarf, nor do I want to. Proficiency rating 65%. Overall I rate myself an A-.

Some of the essays are outstanding, some pretty plebeian, and some a bit strange. The “wash hair” expert thought it important to emphasize that shampoo should be poured onto hands or fingers, not directly onto hair. I can’t get the image of holding a giant bottle of shampoo above my head out of my head. Who would do that? Generally, I found it interesting to read about a commonplace activity, like washing hands, and learning the proper way to do it. I was probably correctly instructed as a child, I just don’t remember. In case you have forgotten too – wash your hands for as long as it takes to sing Happy Birthday twice.

Nineteen skills are associated with Work Life:

Manage your time

Organize

Handle a job interview

Ask for a raise or promotion

Give and receive a compliment

Negotiate

Shake hands

Make conversation

Remember names

Read body language

Listen

Improve your vocabulary

Speed-read

Make an educated guess

Tell a story

Conduct a background investigation

Deliver bad news

Apologize

Speak in public

Many of these skills are squishy, more difficult to assess than the Morning Life skills. I consider myself proficient at seven, knowledgeable about nine, and deficient at three – giving and receiving compliments (I receive so few), remembering names, and speed-reading. (I hope this doesn’t overly concern my business partners.) Most of my knowledgeable skills are easy to blame on the infrequency with which they occur, like conducting a background check or asking for a raise or promotion. Proficiency rating 37%. Overall I rate myself a C+.

Home Life comprises 17 skills:

Balance a checkbook

Save money

Understand a pet

Care for a houseplant

Prepare for a disaster

Shovel snow

Remove a stain

Do laundry

Iron a shirt

Sew a button

Pick produce

Buy fish

Paint a room

Hang a picture

Write a personal note

Make tea

Read aloud

Should I feel good about shining at Home Life? (I’m so domestic or is that domesticated.) I consider myself proficient at 13 of these skills, knowledgeable about removing a stain, picking produce, and buying fish, and deficient only at painting a room. Proficiency rating 76%. I’m giving myself a straight A. One unusual tip from the expert on doing laundry is to put clothes into the washing machine one at a time.

Weekend Life covers 23 skills:

Relax

Wash a car

Change a tire

Change oil

Mow a lawn

Fly a flag

Garden

Swing a golf club

Swim

Hit a tennis ball

Give a massage

Make a martini

Barbeque

Build a fire

Tell a joke

Be a gracious host

Be a good houseguest

Arrange flowers

Set a formal table

Uncork a wine bottle

Taste wine

Use chopsticks

Make a toast

This was extremely disappointing. I would have guessed I would shine at weekend skills, having attempted to turn my entire life into a weekend. I am proficient at seven skills, knowledgeable about eight, and deficient at eight. I’m so embarrassed that I can’t discuss these skills. Proficiency rating 30%. I should give myself an F on principle, but a D is probably more appropriate.

The last category is the Big Life, which also has 23 skills:

Breathe

Stay warm

Have good posture

Have a great smile

Flirt

Ask someone out

Kiss

Buy a diamond

Plan a wedding

Change a diaper

Hold a baby

Relocate

House-train a puppy

Create a family tree

Decorate a Christmas tree

Bake chocolate chip cookies

Give a gift

Wrap a present

Smile for a camera

Take a picture

Learn a foreign language

Plan a trip

Pack for a trip

This category contains a few items that aren’t relevant to a married man, so I’m going to take an incomplete on flirting and asking someone out. Of the remaining skills, I am proficient at ten, knowledgeable about nine and deficient at two – baking chocolate cookies and learning a foreign language. Proficiency rating 48%. Overall category grade is a solid B.

I avoided comments on many specific topics because some things are better left unsaid. I still can’t believe that my weakest category is Weekend Life. But I have no desire to change oil, mow a lawn, arrange flowers, set a formal table, or taste wine. So there really isn’t much room for improvement.

Overall, I was (approximately) proficient at 50%, knowledgeable at 30%, and deficient at 20%. I’m giving myself a solid B.

The overall rating of this post: TMI. And it could have been worse.