They say that a blog should have at least one new entry a week. You know — the blog experts. I don’t think I have that much to say and I have many testimonials to support my position.
My sister-in-law says I should delve into controversial topics. So does my neighbor. Another friend says that I should avoid controversy at all cost. My college roommate asks whether I want to know about typos, I suspect he has a lengthy list ready to throw my way. If he does, I will make the corrections.
But still, I can’t get past the first thing: I should post at least one entry a week. That means I have to post something today. But I don’t have anything interesting to say today. (Some might question whether I have had anything interesting to say yet.) In college, I had a paper due one day, might have been a Wednesday. I had written nothing as of Tuesday evening. So I pulled out my typewriter (have any of you used a typewriter in the last year, the last decade) and started tapping away. The tapping of a typewriter feels more substantial than the tapping of a keyboard, in part because it’s more permanent, but really, a type hammer is just physically heavier.
In the end, I typed over four pages about why I wasn’t writing on the assigned topic. It wasn’t an especially good paper, nor was it particularly bad. It was unabashedly irrelevant to the class. My kindly TA (teaching assistant) gave me a C+ and told me that if I rewrote it, on topic, I could improve my grade. I declined because I was perfectly happy with a C+ in a class I was taking pass/fail.
This blog isn’t even pass/fail. It’s more like I’m auditing. I can write anything and nobody else has any impact. Even the comments that you send are not published until I approve them. That would have been a useful feature in college. Imagine responding, “Thanks for the constructive criticism Paul. Even though you are spot on that I didn’t address the assigned topic, I do not approve your comment. It is hereby deleted.”
A couple of you have expressed a desire for shorter posts — something about falling asleep before the end. First, I’m happy to substitute for Ambien, I’m cheaper and cause fewer side effects. Second, tonight’s post is going to take that criticism to heart. After all, it’s Tuesday, the post is due by Wednesday, I don’t have anything topical to say, none of you can grade me without my approval, and all I really want to do is turn this in and move on to my next assignment. It’s as if I’m in college all over, except this time, I’m my own TA.
Very funny. I like it, however I think Bill Cosby will have a difficult time using your blog to get women naked. I don’t know, it’s just a hunch.