Everyday Skills

I recently read a book that was written by 100 different experts and published in 2004.  It’s titled The Experts’ Guide to 100 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do and it was created by Samantha Ettus.  The cover of the book actually says “created by” Samantha Ettus.  I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen that before.

The book is separated into five sections:  Morning Life, Work Life, Home Life, Weekend Life, and the Big Life.  A different expert writes about each skill.  The luminaries include Donald Trump on negotiating, Tucker Carlson on tying a bow tie, Suze Orman on saving money, Stephen Covey on managing your time, and Bobby Flay on barbequing, among many others.

The things associated with Morning Life that we should all know how to do are:

Sleep

Make a bed

Do push-up and sit-ups

Jog

Eat right

Make eggs

Brew coffee

Read a newspaper

Wash hair

Care for skin

Shave

Wash hands

Shine shoes

Tie a bow tie

Tie a Windsor knot

Tie a scarf

Drive a stick shift

I’m not sure what the last one has to do with morning life, but whatever.  Of these 17 skills, I am proficient at 11, knowledgeable about two (jogging and eating right), and deficient at four.  I don’t brew coffee, or drink it for that matter; I use an electric razor; and I have never tied a bow tie or a scarf, nor do I want to.  Proficiency rating 65%.  Overall I rate myself an A-.

Some of the essays are outstanding, some pretty plebeian, and some a bit strange.  The “wash hair” expert thought it important to emphasize that shampoo should be poured onto hands or fingers, not directly onto hair.  I can’t get the image of holding a giant bottle of shampoo above my head out of my head.  Who would do that?  Generally, I found it interesting to read about a commonplace activity, like washing hands, and learning the proper way to do it.  I was probably correctly instructed as a child, I just don’t remember.  In case you have forgotten too – wash your hands for as long as it takes to sing Happy Birthday twice.

Nineteen skills are associated with Work Life:

Manage your time

Organize

Handle a job interview

Ask for a raise or promotion

Give and receive a compliment

Negotiate

Shake hands

Make conversation

Remember names

Read body language

Listen

Improve your vocabulary

Speed-read

Make an educated guess

Tell a story

Conduct a background investigation

Deliver bad news

Apologize

Speak in public

Many of these skills are squishy, more difficult to assess than the Morning Life skills.  I consider myself proficient at seven, knowledgeable about nine, and deficient at three – giving and receiving compliments (I receive so few), remembering names, and speed-reading.  (I hope this doesn’t overly concern my business partners.)  Most of my knowledgeable skills are easy to blame on the infrequency with which they occur, like conducting a background check or asking for a raise or promotion.  Proficiency rating 37%.  Overall I rate myself a C+.

Home Life comprises 17 skills:

Balance a checkbook

Save money

Understand a pet

Care for a houseplant

Prepare for a disaster

Shovel snow

Remove a stain

Do laundry

Iron a shirt

Sew a button

Pick produce

Buy fish

Paint a room

Hang a picture

Write a personal note

Make tea

Read aloud

Should I feel good about shining at Home Life?  (I’m so domestic or is that domesticated.)  I consider myself proficient at 13 of these skills, knowledgeable about removing a stain, picking produce, and buying fish, and deficient only at painting a room.  Proficiency rating 76%.  I’m giving myself a straight A.  One unusual tip from the expert on doing laundry is to put clothes into the washing machine one at a time.

Weekend Life covers 23 skills:

Relax

Wash a car

Change a tire

Change oil

Mow a lawn

Fly a flag

Garden

Swing a golf club

Swim

Hit a tennis ball

Give a massage

Make a martini

Barbeque

Build a fire

Tell a joke

Be a gracious host

Be a good houseguest

Arrange flowers

Set a formal table

Uncork a wine bottle

Taste wine

Use chopsticks

Make a toast

This was extremely disappointing.  I would have guessed I would shine at weekend skills, having attempted to turn my entire life into a weekend.  I am proficient at seven skills, knowledgeable about eight, and deficient at eight.  I’m so embarrassed that I can’t discuss these skills.  Proficiency rating 30%.  I should give myself an F on principle, but a D is probably more appropriate.

The last category is the Big Life, which also has 23 skills:

Breathe

Stay warm

Have good posture

Have a great smile

Flirt

Ask someone out

Kiss

Buy a diamond

Plan a wedding

Change a diaper

Hold a baby

Relocate

House-train a puppy

Create a family tree

Decorate a Christmas tree

Bake chocolate chip cookies

Give a gift

Wrap a present

Smile for a camera

Take a picture

Learn a foreign language

Plan a trip

Pack for a trip

This category contains a few items that aren’t relevant to a married man, so I’m going to take an incomplete on flirting and asking someone out.  Of the remaining skills, I am proficient at ten, knowledgeable about nine and deficient at two – baking chocolate cookies and learning a foreign language.  Proficiency rating 48%.  Overall category grade is a solid B.

I avoided comments on many specific topics because some things are better left unsaid.  I still can’t believe that my weakest category is Weekend Life.  But I have no desire to change oil, mow a lawn, arrange flowers, set a formal table, or taste wine.  So there really isn’t much room for improvement.

Overall, I was (approximately) proficient at 50%, knowledgeable at 30%, and deficient at 20%.  I’m giving myself a solid B.

The overall rating of this post:  TMI.  And it could have been worse.