Baseball’s opening day has come and gone with little fanfare. Even I barely noticed. There is something weird about starting the year with games in a foreign country. And Cincinnati fans will perhaps never recover from losing their long cherished first-game-of-the-year privileges.
Did anyone care about seeing Ichiro retire? Contrived sports events do not resonate well with me. To let a guy play two games in his home country and then retire during the second game isn’t per se wrong. But it doesn’t seem right either. He was a tremendous player in his prime and, although he still thinks he can help a team, no team agrees.
Who knows what a “check swing” is? Be honest. Who thinks a swing is checked as long as the bat doesn’t cross the plate? Or the player didn’t “break his wrists”? Who thinks there is a specific standard? There isn’t. A player attempts to hit the ball or he doesn’t. It’s as simple and ineffable as that.
In the second inning of game five of the 2017 World Series, Chris Taylor looked like he wanted to bunt, had the bat ready to hit the ball, but didn’t. The umpire yelled “yes, he did.”[1] The “did” was attempt to hit the ball. That is the swinging strike rule. There is no check swing rule. Nothing in the rule book mentions check swing, despite the constant references to it by players, coaches, and announcers. The concept of “attempting to strike at the ball” is undefined. It is a pure judgment call.[2]
Also in game five, an announcer said “if you give Kershaw three runs, he knows what to do with it.”[3] This statement suggests that Kershaw pitches differently with a lead than without. Perhaps he does. Is he the only such pitcher? Is it a rare skill? Is it a skill at all? Or is it just another announcer saying something that he heard someone else say? Most likely, the last. All credible research suggests that pitchers perform roughly the same whether they have the lead, the game is tied, or they are behind. Pitchers do not pitch to the score; they pitch.
A common bit of tripe from announcers is that was “a great piece of hitting,” which you will hear all year long. I have heard announcers say it about line drive singles, bloop doubles, long fly balls off the wall, just about anything hit that doesn’t result in an out. If you watch even two baseball games, you will hear an announcer pronounce (after a batter reached base on a hit) “that was a great piece of hitting.” They never say it about a vicious line drive that a third baseman dives and snares inches off the ground or a towering fly ball that the center fielder tracks down just before it sails over the outfield fence. They only say it when the batter reaches base. They say it without regard to whether the swing was good or bad. It is an entirely results based comment and is therefore almost wholly without merit.
The announcer stated that game five of the 2017 World Series was “one of the most unique game fives in history.” Who knows, maybe it was. But how can you tell? Is there any way to judge? Is there even a way to contemplate “most unique?” BTW, Don Larsen threw a perfect game in game five of the 1956 World Series. That was pretty unique. Maybe not the most unique, but it has to be right up there. (I’d be interested in hearing what you consider the most unique thing you have done, seen, or heard of.)
These notes from 2017 are helping me get ready for another baseball season, a season that now is full of questions.
–Will the Red Sox repeat despite losing significant contributors off their roster?
Not unless they add players during the season.
–Will the Yankees win the division after being only the ninth team in history with 100 wins to finish in second place?
They made several significant additions to an already loaded roster and have a good chance to usurp the Red Sox.
–Will the Reds, who are undefeated, be competitive after four consecutive years with over 90 losses?
I think they will, but they need solid seasons from newly acquired Yasiel Puig, Sonny Gray, and Matt Kemp, among others.[4]
–Will the Indians be able to win the relatively pathetic Central Division yet again?
Few teams in MLB are as lopsided as the Indians – they have two offensive stars (Francisco Lindor and Jose Ramirez), outstanding starting pitching, and precious little else. Still, I think they will win the division.
–Can the NL win the World Series?
Probably not, the Yankees, Astros, and Red Sox figure to be the three best teams in the majors
Don’t forget the little guys. Go watch a youth or high school baseball
game. The players are fun, if highly
flawed. You might uncover a gem. The best baseball in the world is played in
our country and it starts at the youth level.
In a typical year, I see games involving players from age five all the way
through the majors. Every person reading
this lives near a college. Most of them
have baseball free for the watching, certainly every high school does. Go watch America’s pastime safe in the
knowledge that you probably know more about the non-existent check swing rule
than the coaches do.[5]
[1] I hate it when players, fans, and coaches yell “yes, he did.” I’m ok with umpires doing it.
[2] In the 11th inning of game five, Yasiel Puig looked like he might have swung at a pitch, but no strike was called, the announcer stated that “he went a long way.” Apparently, that is his standard.
[3] The announcer seemingly believes that most pitchers have no idea what to do with a three-run lead.
[4] The Red last 90 games four years in a row from 1930 to 1934, when they managed the “feat” five years in a row. On the other side of the ledger, the Big Red Machine averaged over 100 wins a year from 1972 to 1976.
[5] If you see me at a game, ask me about the fourth out rule. It’s one of my favorite topics.
Now I’m more sure than ever that one of those kvetches up in the balcony on the Muppet Show is played by Bob Burpee.
I thought it was a swing an a miss if the appropriate baseline ump could see the end of the bat. A bunt attempt is different, I guess. Unless it’s a swinging bunt. Is that an oxymoron?
I’ve heard plenty of announcers call a plate appearance a great piece of hitting after the batter didn’t reach base safely.
There are no degrees of uniqueness. Something’s either unique or it isn’t. A throwing error by Bob Burpee on the Planits would’ve been unique, had there ever been one.
One out, runners on 2nd and 3rd…
I know that you know the fourth out rule, which of course can become the fifth out rule. Most baseball fans have never heard of it.
Your usual clever, insightful, caustic work. Love it.
I will drift from my usual and aspirational state of descriptivism briefly to be prescriptivish and ask why you have rendered “unique,” which once meant “one of a kind,” has been just another adjective, subject to modification and attenuation and intensification, like “short” or “noisy.”
I originally included a footnote explaining that “unique” means singular or one of a kind. And emphasizing that I was saying “most unique” ironically to accentuate the announcers goofy use of it. After considerable reflection, I deleted the footnote because I knew that my readers would understand that I would never countenance the straightforward use of “most unique.” I was wrong and will endeavor to avoid overestimating my readers in the future. (To wit — parenthetical comment to ensure that you know that last comment was intended for humor, not insult.)