Bucket Lists

At the local library recently, I saw a chalk board, which said:  Before I die, I want to _____.  The venerable Bucket List has been co-opted by our library into a talking point.  The Bucket List is a tried, tested, and true concept in our culture. 

1000 Places To See Before You Die, by Patricia Shultz, available on Amazon for small dollars, but hard to pull off without big ones;

100 Things To Do Before High School, a TV series that I have never heard of and a bit passe[1] for anybody reading this blog;

30 Things to Do Before You Turn 30 (https://gentwenty.com/bucket-list-30-things-to-do-before-you-turn-30/), I did about 10 and it’s too late to do more;

40 Best Books to Read Before You Die (https://www.listchallenges.com/independents-40-best-books-to-read-before-you-die), I’ve read 26 and the others seem pretty good.  This list is certainly easier to deal with than

400 Books to Read Before You Die (https://www.listchallenges.com/400-books-to-read-before-you-die), I’ve read 171.

I could go on, the list of things-to-do lists is practically endless.  People love telling other people what they should do.  Some people make their own lists.  The year my friend Philip turned 50, he decided to do 50 things that he had never done before.  I pretty sure he met his goal; he can be quite maniacal. 

Even people without a Bucket List have Bucket List items.  It is beyond a cliché[2] at this point.  Do any of you have a literal list – written down or typed?  Or is it just in your head? 

I have three literal lists:  American Film Institute’s 100 Greatest American Movies of All Time (I’ve seen 81), a list of the 100 greatest novels of all time (I’ve read 35), and a list of the 100 greatest non-fiction books (I’ve read 22 and most of the rest do not interest me).  The lists of books were from reputable sources at the time, but I didn’t make a note of them.  Even though it seems that I don’t care anymore (because I haven’t checked anything off these three lists in over two years), I still have the actual paper lists.  I might still care.

For many people, the Bucket List is primarily about travel:  Iceland, Antarctica, Mount this or that, some island somewhere warm, a museum, a wall,[3] a game of some sort (the Olympics, World Cup, etc.)  There are many great things and events waiting for all of us to visit and enjoy.  My Bucket List is different.

I had two “conversations” (by text) recently with two different friends about my Bucket List with markedly different results.  John sent a group text to a few friends, something along the lines of “hey, let’s get together, how about a trip to Vegas.”  I replied “It’s on my Bucket List” and he responded “I know what that means” because he does.  Laura was in Laos on business and sent me a text about getting together when she returned.[4]  I typed “Laos is on my Bucket List,” and she replied “Oh my gosh . . . take it OFF” because she didn’t know what I meant.

You see, my Bucket List consists entirely of things I don’t want to do.  My Bucket List is opposite world.  Africa is on many Bucket Lists, including mine.  I actively plan to never go there.  I realize that makes me seem a bit small-minded.  I don’t care.  I don’t like being uncomfortable and every time I think about Africa, I think about how hot it is, how warm the water is, who little safe water there is, how many bugs and snakes and etc. there are, how may nonfunctioning governments there are, how many people with nothing to lose there are, and I remember that in America, there is air conditioning, safe cold water, and plenty of awesome things to see and do.  I have no intention of ever going to Africa. 

I know that I am missing many awesome things:  Victoria Falls, the Pyramids, Cape Town, mega-fauna (lions, rhinos, and hippos, oh my), mega-deserts, and much more, including many fascinating cultures and foods.  I don’t care; to me, it is not worth the discomfort and fear that I would endure.  Watching lions hunt buffalo on NatGeo is not the same as seeing it live and in person.  Then again, very few tourists actually see lions hunt buffalo live and in person. 

Many completely normal things are on my Bucket List — mowing the lawn, attending the ballet, growing a beard, drinking bourbon, wearing a tank top, body art, piercings.  The Bucket List I’m talking about now is not a literal list – it’s a virtual list, but one that I enjoy putting together.  And it is essentially infinite, there are many things that I do not want to do.

Don’t get me wrong – there are also plenty of things that I want to do.  I just don’t put those things on a list.  I can’t think of anything that is so important to me, that not doing it will cause me to be disappointed.  I’ve already accomplished the most important things in life:  good education, great wife, wonderful kids.[5]

Maybe I will go to Istanbul and see the Theodosian land walls, maybe I’ll attend a Duke/UNC basketball game, maybe I’ll sit down and drink a beer with my friend Charlie Poole.  But it won’t be because it’s on a list—though that last item really should be.

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[1] No automatic accent.

[2] Word added this accent automatically.  Is that a good thing?

[3] There are lots of walls in the world.  They tend to do better as attractions than as obstacles – Wailing Wall, Great Wall of China, Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall – though the walls of Constantinople served their makers well for hundreds of years.

[4] Laura is currently in New Zealand.  She travels a lot.  New Zealand is not on my Bucket List.

[5] I want to mention two other “accomplishments” of note, that were not important:  a hole-in-one at Pinehurst and attending the Red Sox win that clinched the 2004 World Series.